Lately I feel like life has been nothing but bad news, bad luck, and rejection. I feel like I am jinxed and I just can’t get rid of this black cloud above my head. I guess that is 2020 for everyone but here is my story- not even including 2020 stuff like cancelled trips and such.
House.
It all started when we bought our house almost a year ago. It seems everything has been kinda downhill from there. This house has bad juju or we are cursed from the freaky previous owners.
We thought the house was move in ready but right off the bat we had to spend thousands to fix issues we weren’t aware of until we moved in.
I won’t go into all the crazy, unbelievable details here but check out the post I wrote all about the nightmare we went through with our first house.
We haven’t even lived here a year yet and we keep finding new issues with the house…expensive issues! Either things that don’t work or things that need repair or complete replacement such as the busted sewer system and our pipes under the house. A mere estimated $20,000 to fix. Awesome.
Car.
I bought a brand new car in March of 2019. A beautiful, blue, Hyndai Elantra.
Fast forward to March of 2020, when I see 3 dogs running in the middle of the street.
Two ran away but one was friendly and easily went in my car. This dog proceeded to throw up all over my new car. Like projectile vomit. Then he stepped in it and ran all over the car.
Mark scrubbed it, I scrubbed it…nothing seemed to work. We weren’t even making a dent. I spend hundreds trying to fix it. It was professionally cleaned twice which got rid of all of the stains and vomit. The car was absolutely spotless but it smelled horrific. It smelled so badly that it wasn’t driveable, not even with all the windows rolled down.
We bought Ozium which didn’t work at all. I called a ton of detail shops but none could help me until I called one and he mentioned doing something called an Enzyme Bomb. This was powerful. It knocked out most of the smell but there was still the smell of vomit beneath the surface of the nauseating chlorine smell that now overwhelms my car. Still have to drive with the windows down but now for a different scent.
Mark then bought me an Ozone Generator, which we plan to use numerous times. It is August. My car has been sitting in the garage for months to air out with all the windows down. Still smells 5 months later but at least it is driveable now.
Cat.
Did you know that Rogaine is toxic to cats? No? Me neither…until our cat almost died of it!
Mark’s hair has been thinning a lot so he had been using Rogaine for about a month.
External Hard Drive.
Unfortunately, I am a super clumsy person which often causes me much pain physically and emotionally. I never knew how much emotional pain my clumsiness would cause me until I tripped over the power cord and knocked my external hard drive to the ground. At first I thought nothing of it because I had knocked it to the ground so many other times and it was fine…just saying this out loud makes me crazy that I didn’t backup everything on this thing.
The next day I plug it in to use it and it’s making a horrific sound. It BROKE! This tiny black box with my whole entire life on it broke. Every picture and video I have ever taken in my life, all of my travels, my blogs, my projects, short stories, my budget…everything is on that hard drive.
Mark and I called a ton of data recovery places and requested quotes. All of them came back between $1,000-$2,000 to try and recover the data. I was devastated twice over now- not only because I may lose all my data but also how expensive it’s going to be to try to recover any of it. Days were spent in bed crying. I was in denial and in a state of doom and gloom, was barely eating, wasn’t sleeping, I was short of breath from the anxiety, and I spent way too many hours on Tik Tok everyday.
We found a place that had a payment scale based on time frame. Obviously I had to pick the cheapest option. The cheapest option was a month turn around. You would think waiting a month to find out if I had lost my entire life’s work would have been torture but actually, I didn’t want to think about it.
When I finally got the call that my data was ready to review, I did not want to go. I couldn’t bare to hear the news. I made Mark go with me for emotional support as well as for any tech stuff I might not understand.
We get to the appointment and I am literally shaking from anxiety and dread. The dude is super casual and plugs a device in for me to review the data. I look at him and ask if he knows how much he recovered. He casually says, “All of it.” Huh??? What??? My stomach did flip flops. He couldn’t have led with that?
He had a folder labeled “Problem” with all of the corrupted files inside. There were only a few pictures and videos! I couldn’t believe it! Maybe now my luck was finally turning around!
Other Cat.
Well, I spoke way too soon! We got home from the data appointment and opened the front door. When we entered, LeeLee didn’t run to the door like she usually does. Hmmm. She was a few feet away and just looked at us. I poured her a bowl of food and this is when I knew something was very wrong. She didn’t come to eat. Just to put this into some perspective- this cat screams for food 24/7. Literally yells all day, everyday.
I put the food next to her and she ate 2 pebbles and attempted to walk away. As she walked, she began screaming, and crying, and growling in pain. She then fell over and couldn’t get up.
We rushed her to the emergency vet and were there 3 hours before we heard anything. The vet called us (Due to Covid-19 we were waiting in the car) and explained that LeeLee had had a Hypertensive Crisis, her retinas detached so she couldn’t see, and she had a blood clot that moved from her heart to her legs and that is why she was in so much pain. He explained that we would have to euthanize her but that we could get an ultrasound the next day to confirm his diagnosis. He explained that she might not make it through the night.
We were shocked, gutted, devastated. I cannot even begin to explain my feelings. I felt like a piece of my soul died. I just could not believe what was happening.
The vet tech brought LeeLee outside and we said goodbye to her just in case.
We decided to get the ultrasound the next day. Well, the day came and went…we weren’t hearing anything. We called numerous times throughout the day but they still hadn’t done the ultrasound. I was getting so frustrated and worried, thinking LeeLee was in some metal cage in pain and scared and confused.
Finally, another vet called us around 5pm and told us the ultrasound came back clear and we could pick her up. Huh? I said, “I’m sorry but I am very confused. We were preparing to put her to sleep because that is what we were told to do last night.” She explained that she doesn’t think it was a blood clot, maybe a stroke from the high blood pressure but she isn’t sure.
After a complete 180, Mark went to pick LeeLee up from the vet. We brought her to her regular vet and he doesn’t agree with any of the diagnosis and said she is totally fine.
It’s pretty unnerving to not know what is going on with your pet’s health. We are taking this day by day and may even get a 4th opinion.
Laptop.
My laptop has been crashing for about a year or two now. I have been using the crashing one because I really didn’t want to spend the money on a new one but alas, the time had come. Once my external hard drive crashed I knew I needed an upgrade with my laptop. I bought a new laptop, 2 external hard drives and an icloud drive called IDrive. My wallet is miserable but I at least feel safe now.
Phone Charger.
It’s really not that big of a deal, but just another little sting to get under my skin. I plugged in my phone one day and it wasn’t charging. My iPhone charger is now a dud. Those chargers are so expensive! I had two but a student stole the one I kept at work. Mark has one but I keep taking it. I need to just give in and buy 2 of my own. I think I will do that now actually.
Speaking of…..
Phone.
My poor phone. I have the iPhone 8. I bought it years ago and to save money I bought it used. Its been doing me very well BUT it’s not crashing as well.
I am just having an awful time with technology lately. All of my tech is crashing.
When it rains it pours, as they say.
My iPhone 8 keeps glitching. Sometimes it won’t take pics or vids. Sometimes the whole screen is sideways and won’t turn back the right way. A bunch of texts come through as “Message Not Found.” And sometimes the screen goes totally black and takes a while to go back to normal.
I really do not want to spend money on a new phone but I think it’s time. I have my eye on the iPhone 11 but after buying a new laptop, 2 external hard drives, an IDrive, paying the data recovery services, and all these unexpected vet bills….I don’t think the iPhone 11 is the wisest decision.
Wasp Nest.
Wasps! Wasps everywhere! We are infested! We can’t see the wasp nest because it IS IN OUR WALL! Wasps fly in and out of our walls all day.
Really need to get an exterminator.
Writing.
A short script I wrote keeps repeatedly getting rejected. Every time I edit it, I think it is so much better. Well, others disagree. It is getting destroyed each time I make changes. I hate to admit it but I have been thinking about quitting on this project.
Intern.
Last year I had an intern and I loved it. I was asked if I wanted to have another this year. Excitedly, I agreed. The intern coordinator sent 3 potential interns my way.
I reached out to the first. Right away she emailed back stating she had accepted another placement and wouldn’t be interviewing with me anymore. Okay, no big deal, I have two more to interview.
Eager to hire someone soon, I emailed the second candidate. The interview went so well! I offered her the position. She explained she had more interviews and would let me know in a few days. A week came and went and I never heard from her. I even emailed her to follow up and she didn’t respond!
She shouldn’t have, but she really got under my skin! I felt like we got along so well and really had a great connection and interview. We were laughing and joking around. She was the perfect fit. The following week I email taking back my offer stating I will be interviewing others to fill the position. Then I find out from the coordinator that she took another position. I couldn’t help it and knew I shouldn’t have been but I took it personally. I was insulted and felt rejected.
I move on and interview the 3rd candidate. We have a semi okay interview. I didn’t feel she was the best fit but felt she would do well in the position. After mulling it over, the next day I emailed her to offer the position. She emailed back a few hours later stating she took another position.
Wow. You just can’t help but think, is it me? What am I doing wrong? Not to mention it is an epic waste of my time and energy. As of right now I am internless for the coming year.
Health.
Every since I turned 30, my health has steadily declined. I was even deathly ill at my 30th birthday party. Loaded full of meds, I could barely eat and couldn’t drink. I had to awkwardly reject everyone’s kind gestures of getting me drinks.
Currently, my eye sight is declining. Glasses are desperately needed. My gums are receding. They have been for years but they seem to be doing far worse lately. I have a constant sharp pain in the left side of my neck.
This week I attempted to get back into stretching and ended up causing some sort of injury to my left leg. Its been so painful that it’s difficult to get to sleep at night.
I need to go to the doctor for a full work up or get a full body transplant!
Black Thumb.
I have the opposite of a Green Thumb. I call it a black thumb. My black thumb of death. The Black Thumb of Death seem to kill every plant I come into contact with.
Even Sunflowers. Yes, you read that right. Even Sunflowers…the flowers that grow like weeds in concrete in the middle of nowhere.
Mark and I have been trying to hard to work on our landscaping. It has been an epic failure. We can’t grow a damn thing. We are buying a tiller and we are going to Till the entire yard.
Obviously some of these things have been more exhausting and stressful than others. Some are merely minor inconveniences. Nonetheless, piled on top of each other, thing after thing after thing each day is exhausting. I want to go away and lay on a beach somewhere for a week.
Until then, I will be here, surviving the Black Cloud.
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If you are more of a listener, you can listen to my podcast episode about this here —>
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