Showing love and care throughout your relationship is one of the most important things you can do. A hard truth about romantic relationships is that they can fade without ongoing work and dedication.
A relationship’s foundation has many compartments (things such as love, friendship, trust, honesty, laughter). And every time one of these areas falls apart, it’s like a crack in the foundation. Sometimes cracks aren’t that noticeable and can go unnoticed for years before you notice the romance is gone and the fun and laughs are few and far between. In fact, you may even feel like your partner is more of a roommate sometimes.
There are many things that you can do to improve the quality of your relationship and make it stronger. If you are dedicated to improving your relationship, try some of these methods. However, some of these tips may not be right for you or your partner. You may be stronger in some of these areas than others. Take the time to evaluate your relationship- the areas of strength and the areas that need more effort and care. Really think about what will work best for you and your partner. Here are some things that will help to build a strong foundation in your relationship:
-
Communication: Good communication is key to any healthy relationship. Make time to really listen to each other and have open, honest and respectful conversations. It’s important to be mindful of the way you speak to your partner and the way they are speaking to you. It’s okay to disagree and argue but it’s crucial to maintain respect for your partner.
-
Quality time: Spend quality time together. This means uninterrupted, undistracted time to focus on each other. Make an effort to go out on regular date nights. Make time for each other. You might think that because of busy schedules and not having a ton of free time, neither of you is going to feel like it and want to reschedule or cancel. Fight this urge—it’s easy to make excuses about why you really can’t go out tonight or why you can’t put off that task until tomorrow but spending some quality time together is so important for your relationship. Try to put a date in your schedule at least once a month.
-
Acts of love and affection: Small acts of love and affection, such as holding hands, hugging, or complimenting each other, can go a long way in making your partner feel special, loved, and appreciated. Don’t undermine the power of these small but meaningful gestures.
-
Emotional support: You are your partners main source of support and vice versa. You are there for each other through the great, happy, fun, and exciting times but it’s just as important, if not more so to be there for each other through the difficult times. Offer emotional support and be there for each other during tough times. Ask what your partner needs and how you can help or take on some extra work around the house to lighten their responsibilities and mental load.
-
Shared activities: Engage in shared activities, such as hobbies or fitness, to strengthen your bond and create new memories together. You can learn a new skill together, take a class, or explore somewhere new. Maybe one of you has had an interest in a particular hobby that you can both try together.
-
Intimacy: Maintain a physical and emotional connection through intimacy, such as kissing, cuddling, and/or sexual intimacy. Physical affection has emotional benefits to your overall well-being as well as helps to strengthen your connection and bond.
-
Gratitude: Show appreciation for your partner and express gratitude for the positive aspects of your relationship as well as the effort you see them making or even the small daily, seemingly trivial things. Feeling appreciated by your partner is such an important feeling.
-
Flexibility and compromise: Be flexible and willing to compromise in order to find solutions that work for both of you. This requires honest and vulnerable conversations. All relationships require some give and take.
-
Keep the spark alive: Keep things fresh and exciting by trying new things and finding new ways to keep the spark alive in your relationship. Surprise each other, do nice things for each other, and go out on dates. Be willing to try new things together such as activities, foods, or even vacations. Taking the time to experience new things together can bring about an excitement between both of you that was previously not there before.
-
Seek outside help: If you’re struggling with a particular issue, consider seeking the help of a couples therapist or counselor. Needing to see a therapist is not a sign that your relationship is doomed. It’s a sign that you are dedicated to put in the work to strengthen your relationship and make it last for the long haul.
-
Fight in a healthy way: no name calling, no blaming, stick to the current argument and don’t bring up past ones, listen to understand not to respond. It’s you and your partner against the problem. The fact is, you will not always agree and fighting or arguing is not only inevitable but a healthy part of relationships. What matters most is how you fight. Keep it healthy and respectful.
-
Apologize: piggybacking off of the last point- apologizing is such an important part of relationships. Try your best to put the ego away and take accountability for your actions. What is more important, being right or the health and quality of your relationship with your partner?
-
Show interest: in their hobbies, in their work, about their friends and family. Taking an interest in your partner should go without saying but it’s easy to take our partners foregranted in the hustle and bustle of our chaotic and busy schedules. Ask your partner how they are and listen genuinely and attentively.
-
Be present: be fully present with your partner. Put away all distractions such as your phone and turn off the TV. Be mindful of when they are speaking and pay attention to their mood. Much of our language is non-verbal. Don’t miss it because you were distracted. We can’t underestimate the power of giving our partners our undivided attention.
-
Listen: really listen to your partner’s wants, needs, desires, and feelings. Most importantly, listen to each other without judgment or criticism so that both parties feel heard and understood. This helps to build comfort and confidence in the strength of the relationship and lets you each know that you can truly count on each other.
A successful relationship requires effort and commitment from both partners. Keep working together, keep the lines of communication open and continue to grow together. By working together, you can build a strong, loving and lasting relationship.
No two relationships are alike, but there are certain patterns that may help to give you a sense of where your relationship is headed. Put the above points into practice and you will create a blueprint for happiness in your relationship. Once it is established you can then begin making powerful changes to your relationship.
Great article! These are all such good points, Desiree! Being present, spending time together, and communicating, I would say, are my top 3. My husband and I have been together for 12 years, and implementing these methods has only made our relationship stronger.
I’m so happy to hear that!
This is a beautiful list! As parents of five boys, we sometimes struggle with a few of these! We can definitely tell when we’re becoming distant! We’ve found that weekly dates, or one-on-one time, are essential. Thank you for sharing!
Oh yes, I can imagine the struggle it is with 5 boys! I’m so glad you are making weekly dates a priority as a couple!
Interesting and very useful. It made me start to think about what could I improve.
I’m so glad to hear that! Good luck
everything is accurate