The holiday season is a wonderful time of year filled with love, and magic, and joy… well, that’s the idea, right? It could be all of those things for some, but for others, it’s a time of loneliness, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and toxic family members.
While many people look forward to the holiday season, others are filled with dread. You may even love the holidays but are still filled with anxiety and overwhelm. The holidays can be a stressful time when it comes to planning, traveling, prepping, cooking, shopping, gift-giving… and on and on. A lot goes into the holidays which can be overwhelming especially if you have family out of town, have kids, and/or work a full-time job.
If you can relate then read on for tips on how to survive the holidays.
Setting Realistic Expectations
The first step of a stress-free holiday season is letting go of unrealistic expectations and perfectionism. You may have high expectations for yourself and your loved ones, you may want the holidays to go exactly as planned, you may be envisioning your picture-perfect holiday dinner but life is not perfect. Mistakes will be made, accidents will happen, few things will go as planned. The holidays are rarely perfect. Social media is a lie. Don’t compare your holiday to those you see online.
It’s important to realize that nothing is perfect and that’s okay. Try your best to let go of what you can’t control, which will be most things. Enjoy the present moment and let go of that unrealistic, picture-perfect holiday. It will be difficult but try and go with the flow and accept things as they are.
Taking Breaks
Because the holidays can be overwhelming, make sure you are taking breaks. Breaks can be a great way to prevent you from saying something you don’t mean, having an attitude, and reacting in a negative way.
You first must identity when you are becoming overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or irritated. Pay attention to your thoughts as well as your physical reactions such as sweat, heart racing, shallow breath. You will want to be in tune to your triggers as well as mental and physical reactions.
When it becomes apparent that you are having a negative reaction, excuse yourself and take a break. This can look like going to the bathroom and washing your face, drinking water, calling a friend, going for a walk, or journaling.
Have a list of coping skills that you know calm you down and use one of those as your break. It helps to have this list ahead of time. Keep a list written in your phone or pocket- somewhere it is easily accessible.
Family Relationships
The best and hardest part of the holiday season is spending an extended amount of time with family, especially if your family is toxic. Whatever type of relationship you have with your family, extended amounts of time with them can cause anxiety and stress. You may even have family members that you don’t get along with but see during the holidays.
To avoid family conflict and to keep the peace, stay in the present moment. There may be unresolved issues that you want to address but you will need to decide if the holidays are the best time to bring up the past. If you decide it is not the right time, focus on the moment. There will be time later to get into the past.
If you are having a difficult time spending the holidays with family, try a shift in mindset. Instead of counting down the days until you get to go home, try remembering that the holidays only come once a year. They are over sooner than you know it. Instead of thinking you can’t wait for this to be over, think about how you will never get this time back.
Self-Care
Self-care is always important but especially so during the holiday season. It’s a busy and overwhelming time. Your wants, desires, feelings, and needs can easily get swept to the backburner if you aren’t careful. With so many demands and time commitments and can be increasingly difficult to prioritize yourself.
This holiday season, take time to yourself. Schedule it in your planner or calendar if you have to. Sometimes scheduling self-care into your day or week can help you to feel more committed.
Take the time to reflect on your feelings, to express feelings in healthy way, to relax and reset. You can do something fun, relaxing, or creative or you can do absolutely nothing at all.
Getting Physical
Staying active can be especially challenging during the holiday season. It’s cold, dark, dreary, and your schedule is probably full of events, tasks, and obligations. You would probably much rather stay on the couch in your cozy pajamas any free time you have rather than getting into your active wear and working up a sweat.
It can be a huge challenge to stay active during the holidays but it is important. Staying active during the holiday season is a healthy way to release your feelings. It boosts your motivation, keeps your immune system strong, which is very important during cold and flu system.
Working out also boosts your mood and helps to maintain your mental health. The holiday season can be a stressful and overwhelming time. Staying active is a great way to manage those feelings.
Finances
The holidays are a time for family, joy, love… as well as spending, spending, spending…shopping, shopping, shopping. Due to the holidays becoming commercialized, high expectations for gifts can cause a lot of stress on your mind and your bank account.
If the holidays cause you financial stress, it will be important to come up with a budget. Analyze your income, how many people you plan to buy gifts for or how many events you plan to attend and how much tickets are. Keep track of your bills. Analyzing your usual spending and keeping track of your bills will let you know how much you can spend on gifts and holiday events.
If your budget is tight, you may want to have an open and honest conversation with your loved ones. Let them know your acceptable price range or you can come up with alternatives to gift giving. Get creative. Maybe your family can do Secret Santa or you and your partner can go out to dinner. Brainstorm with your loved ones. The holidays are a financially stressful time. You are not the only one feeling the financial burden.
I also covered this topic on my podcast last week, take a listen
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