The holiday season is a wonderful time of year filled with love, and magic, and joy… well, that’s the idea, right? It could be all of those things for some, but for others, it’s a time of loneliness, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, and toxic family members.
While many people look forward to the holiday season, others are filled with dread. You may even love the holidays but can still filled with anxiety and overwhelm. The holidays can be a stressful time when it comes to planning, traveling, prepping, cooking, shopping, gift-giving… and on and on. A lot goes into the holidays which can be overwhelming especially if you have family out of town, have kids, and/or work a full-time job. This is especially true for those finding themselves alone during the holiday season. Some people can’t get off of work, some don’t have the budget to visit family, and others don’t have family to visit.
If you can relate then read on for tips on how to survive the holidays.
Set Realistic Expectations
The first step of a stress-free holiday season is letting go of unrealistic expectations and perfectionism. You may have high expectations for yourself and your loved ones, you may want the holidays to go exactly as planned, you may be envisioning your picture-perfect holiday dinner but life is not perfect. Mistakes will be made, accidents will happen, few things will go as planned. The holidays are rarely perfect.
It’s important to realize that nothing is perfect and that’s okay. Try your best to let go of what you can’t control, which will be most things. Enjoy the present moment and let go of that unrealistic, picture-perfect holiday. It will be difficult but try and go with the flow and accept things as they are.
We have a tendency to set high expectations for the holidays…very high and unrealistic expectations.
Something will not work out. Something will go wrong. Your food might get burnt, your holiday craft might come out looking like garbage. Someone might get sick and not show up. You might even be alone this holiday season.
No matter what goes wrong, and something will go wrong, you can still have a wonderful holiday. Set realistic expectations and try to go with the flow.
Stop comparing yourself
It’s so easy to compare ourselves and our situations to what we see on social media. You may compare the food you cooked to someone else’s meal or the gifts you bought or received. Maybe someone went on a holiday vacay and you’re feeling jealous. If you find yourself comparing yourself to others on social media, try to limit your social media use during the holiday season or unfollow accounts that have you feeling down about yourself.
Take breaks
Because the holidays can be overwhelming, make sure you are taking breaks. Breaks can be a great way to prevent you from saying something you don’t mean, having an attitude, and reacting in a negative way.
You first must identity when you are becoming overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or irritated. Pay attention to your thoughts as well as your physical reactions such as sweat, your heart racing, or shallow breath. You will want to be in tune to your triggers as well as mental and physical reactions.
When it becomes apparent that you are having a negative reaction, excuse yourself and take a break. This can look like going to the bathroom and washing your face, drinking water or hot tea, calling a friend, going for a walk, or journaling.
Have a list of coping skills that you know calm you down and use one of those as your break. It helps to have this list ahead of time. Keep a list written in your phone or pocket- somewhere it is easily accessible.
Family relationships
The best and hardest part of the holiday season is spending an extended amount of time with family, especially if your family is toxic. Whatever type of relationship you have with your family, extended amounts of time with them can cause anxiety and stress. You may even have family members that you don’t get along with but see during the holidays.
To avoid family conflict and to keep the peace, stay in the present moment. There may be unresolved issues that you want to address but you will need to decide if the holidays are the best time to bring up the past. If you decide it is not the right time, focus on the present. There will be time later to resolve past issues.
If you are having a difficult time spending the holidays with family, try a shift in mindset. Instead of counting down the days until you get to go home, try remembering that the holidays only come once a year. They are over sooner than you know it. Instead of thinking you can’t wait for this to be over, think about how you will never get this time back.
We all have that one grudge we can’t seem to let go of or that family member we just cannot get along with, no matter how hard we try. Pick your battles. Is the argument really worth it? Not usually, especially on the holidays when tensions are already a little high. Go with the flow and try your best to get along with others. Instead of arguing with family, vent to your friends to express yourself.
If there is a family member that is toxic or has even been abusive in the past you can confide in trusted family member for support or decide if you are going to attend the family gathering at all.
Express your feelings
Expressing yourself in a healthy way is key when maintaining your sanity during the holidays. Journaling is a great way to express your feelings about what is going on this holiday season. Write down and explore your fears, your stressors, your triggers, and your anxieties. If you don’t like writing then you can express your feelings in another creative way such as photography, painting, drawing, music, or movement such as dance. There are many creative outlets available to you, you just have to find which one works best for you.
Set boundaries
Setting boundaries with friends and family is important because it sets up the expectation of how you want to be treated. Loved ones may try to push your boundaries and it is important to recognize this. Maintaining your boundaries is a way to keep your relationships healthy and prevent you from becoming emotionally drained.
A part of this is learning to say, “no”. It’s so easy to give in to requests to not cause conflict but it’s important for you to be able to say “no” to things you are either uncomfortable with or don’t want to do, especially if you are overwhelmed and already have a lot on your plate. Saying “no” can be difficult but with practice, it will become easier over time. It’s important to protect your energy, especially during the holiday season.
Sleep Hygeine
Sticking to a healthy sleep schedule is difficult during the holidays but so important. Sleep is so important when it comes to our moods and mental health. A lack of sleep can cause irritability, stress, a weakened immune system, fatigue, and much more.
Try waking up and going to sleep at the same time each day to maintain a healthy schedule. This will help you avoid being grouchy during the day, which can lead to unnecessary conflict.
Physical activity
Staying active can be especially challenging during the holiday season. It’s cold, dark, dreary, and your schedule is probably full of events, tasks, and obligations or you may just have low motivation during the holiday season. You would probably much rather stay on the couch in your cozy pajamas any free time you have rather than getting into your active wear and working up a sweat.
It can be a huge challenge to stay active during the holidays but it is important. Staying active during the holiday season is a healthy way to release your feelings. It boosts your motivation and keeps your immune system strong, which is very important during cold and flu season.
Working out also boosts your mood and helps to maintain your mental health. The holiday season can be a stressful and overwhelming time. Staying active is a great way to manage those feelings.
Because exercising is a great way to release tension and boost your mood, if you can’t do a full workout then at least try to do some simple workouts in your room such as running in place, jumping jacks, crunches, or even stretching. A short walk each day can also do wonders.
Set a budget
The holidays are a time for family, joy, love… as well as spending, spending, spending…shopping, shopping, shopping. Between gifts, crafts, decorations, food, and the holidays becoming so commercialized, high expectations for gifts can cause a lot of stress on your mind and your bank account. No one should become financially strained during the holidays.
If the holidays cause you financial stress, it will be important to come up with a budget. Analyze your income, how many people you plan to buy gifts for, or how many events you plan to attend and how much tickets are. Keep track of your bills. Analyzing your usual spending and keeping track of your bills will let you know how much you can spend on gifts and holiday events.
If your budget is tight, you may want to have an open and honest conversation with your loved ones. Let them know your acceptable price range or you can come up with alternatives to gift giving. Get creative. Maybe your family can do Secret Santa or you and your partner can go out to dinner. Brainstorm with your loved ones. The holidays are a financially stressful time. Your financial stability is more important than the consumerism of the holidays. And know that you are not the only one feeling the financial burden.
I hope these tips were helpful and I hope you are able to find peace and joy this holiday season.
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