March 2020. The month all of our lives changed. Not just here in Denver or Colorado or the USA but the whole world.
Friday, March 13th, 2020 an announcement came on the loudspeaker letting us know that we would be taking an extended spring break. Our spring break which is normally a week was now going to be three weeks. Little did we know then that we wouldn’t be back in person until October!
My program went back in person for 3 weeks in October when we were shut down again until January of 2021.
I do have to say that I am extremely lucky. Both Mark and I were able to keep our jobs and work from home. We stayed healthy and most of our friends and family did too.
The most we were inconvenienced was that our trips were canceled.
A Year of Loss
This year was a year of loss. There was the loss of life and loss of jobs but it was more than that. People lost their events and experiences. Many people had to cancel their weddings, graduations, honeymoons, baby showers…etc… you name it, it was canceled.
One thing that really struck me was all of the “at least” comments. If someone posted they were upset their plans were canceled there were inevitably comments saying, “at least you have your health”, “at least you still have your job”, “at least you aren’t homeless”,
While these comments may be true….they are not helpful. These comments do not make someone think, “Wow, my wedding that I took over a year to plan was canceled but at least I’m alive.” You can be grateful for what you have and still be devastated over the loss of plans. That grief is real.
I am never really confident about the intentions of the comments such as these. They may be trying to help someone to gain perspective. They may be made out of the kindness of one’s heart to be helpful. But, what comments such as those actually do is minimize people’s feelings. They dismiss their experience and grief. A canceled birthday party may not mean anything to one person but it may mean everything to another.
This was a year of grief and many losses and they are all valid.
If you are one of the “at least” people, don’t stress! I am positive I have said it too. It’s almost an automatic response. Instead, try and listen. Empathize or sympathize with the person. Let them know that you get it, it really, really sucks! You won’t be able to solve the problem but you can definitely let them know you care.
What We Have Gained
Besides being a year of loss, it felt like a year of gains as well. I am in no way trying to make light of this past year but I really did appreciate how creative people were during this time.
I saw so many incredible artworks, I watched virtual plays, I saw hysterical videos, I watched short films people made right in their own homes…the creativity did not cease to amaze me.
People were posting that they were taking up new hobbies, that they were connecting with others in new ways. I saw many posts of cool recipes to try, people’s knitting, or gardening projects. It was very cool to see.
I am a “go, go, go” type of person. It was a challenge but it felt nice to stay home and slow down a bit. I did start getting stir crazy so I had to incorporate walks into my day, which was nice also. That’s something I never do!
I Facetimed with so many friends and family. I had zoom hangouts with friends I hadn’t seen since I moved away! I started coloring more. I started fostering cats again. I tried new recipes and desserts. We normally cook but we started getting takeout from our favorite restaurants. I spent time in nature.
In devastating times, there is always some light. We have to choose to see it. We have to try and find it.
I hope that you were able to find some light this year.
I sincerely hope that through this year of loss, you are coping okay. I know people’s mental health suffered this year. I hope you took the time to care for yourself and those around you.
Let’s look forward to what this year has to come. We can only go up from here.