Welcome to my podcast, The Wellness Project with Des. On today’s episode, I speak with Chris Burcher about his lifelong struggles with anxiety and depression and how Internal Family Systems (IFS) helped him to overcome these struggles.
Chris explains that he has struggled with anxiety and depression from a young age, though he did not experience trauma as a child. Chris explains that as an adult, he has realized that he needed more than his parents knew how to give him and that he grew up with a lot of unmet needs. He also grew up feeling different and like an outcast.
Born in 1972, Chris explains that there wasn’t really a name for how he was feeling. The words, “depression” and “anxiety” weren’t commonly used or known.
Having his first panic attack in his late 20’s, Chris turned to using cannabis to manage his anxiety in the short term but he stopped using it once he learned that was an unhealthy coping skill.
Chris lacked the support he needed with his mental health issues. He explains that his ex-wife was not supportive of his mental health and neither were his friends. Chris realized that his group of friends weren’t comfortable speaking about mental health issues or getting vulnerable. It became obvious to him men are allowed to struggle with their mental health, they did not have problems, they don’t get help, they stay quiet and keep working. Because of this, he learned to hide his emotions and keep them to himself. He didn’t seek out the support he needed. He felt shame for having his feelings which led him to having low self-esteem, feeling like he had no value, that he was unimportant or less than his peers.
After his divorce, Chris hit a low point that even had him struggling with suicidal ideation. That’s when he knew he really needed help. Chris explains that he did talk therapy and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for about 10 years but that it wasn’t very helpful for him. After his divorce, he discovered Internal Family Systems (IFS) and this was a game-changer. He explains how IFS transformed his life.
Chris also explains what you can do to support someone in your life who struggles with their mental health.
“I think you have to sort of be so sensitive and empathic and open to different personality types, in general, to be able to help people who may be are experiencing things you haven’t experienced yourself.”
Chris Burcher
Listen to the episode here.
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Mentions:
- What Happened to You?- Oprah Winfrey
- Internal Family Systems (IFS)
- The Body Keeps the Score– Bessel van der Kolk M.D