Hello and welcome to my podcast, The Wellness Project with Des. On today’s podcast, I speak with Debbie Gail Zane about how she found her life’s purpose through the love and loss of her son.
I’m Desiree, a Mental Health Therapist and Holistic Wellness Coach that is passionate about helping people improve their mental health and live a healthy and fulfilled life. One way I do this is by interviewing experts in the field of mental health and wellness as well as those that share their first hand accounts with their mental health journeys. In this podcast episode, we will hear from Debbie about her journey through her eldest son’s struggles with his mental health, addiction, and ultimately losing his life.
Debbie Gail Zane shares her story of the love and loss of her son through his mental illness and addiction and how she turned her pain into purpose. Debbie was a single mom of three. When her eldest son, Alex started high school he began struggling with his mental health. She remembers one evening he came to her and said he had been having thoughts of ending his life and had attempted it many times. This was completely shocking to Debbie because Alex had a normal childhood. He was social, he had lots of friends, and was always involved in sports. Once Alex had disclosed his suicidal ideation, he was hospitalized for 3.5 weeks. During his hospitalization, Alex was diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder. This began a long and painful journey that Debbie and her family were abruptly thrust into.
In the beginning, Debbie explains that she was fighting for Alex’s healing, fighting to find the right doctors, fighting with him to see therapists, his doctors, to take his meds. On top of the mental illness, Alex began using drugs. It started out as marijuana but escalated to more and more drugs in an attempt to numb himself from his pain.
One of the hardest things Debbie and her other two children had to do was implement strong boundaries with Alex. They loved and cared for him but also needed to protect themselves. She discusses how she and her other children maintained their boundaries while also keeping a loving relationship with him.
In his early 20’s, Alex overdosed numerous times and Debbie explains that it became rare to see Alex sober. Debbie realized she was living in fear and not living her life. She wasn’t present in her life and she had a wakeup call that she needed to make a change.
When Alex was 26 years old, he started doing better. He was in treatment, he was dating, and he was getting an apartment. Debbie was finally full of hope. That hope was devastatingly dashed when Debbie received a call from the police that Alex had been found dead.
With her world turned upside down, Debbie took the time she needed to grieve and to heal. Through the love and loss of her son, Debbie was able to find her purpose. In our conversation, Debbie explains how helping and supporting others and getting involved and volunteering helped get through her grief journey.
Listen to Debbie’s powerful and inspiring story to learn how deep, unimaginable pain can lead someone to their life’s purpose.
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