Fear is an unpleasant feeling but it’s an essential survival response. Fear is there to protect us from physical or emotional harm. It’s a natural response to danger meant to help us avoid or reduce harm. Fear forces us to be more alert, take cover, or run away — as it should. Fear isn’t just a feeling though. It’s also a thought process and a completely normal human emotion. What we think about something often affects how we feel about it and how we react to it.
Fear can be a healthy and even positive emotion but it can also be a negative emotion that holds us back and keeps us stuck. The problem with fear is that it keeps us from doing things that would make us happy. It keeps us from reaching for our dreams, from trying something new, or facing our fears head on. Fear can keep us from going for what we really want or desire. When we’re afraid of something, sometimes it’s because it’s not safe or because it could hurt us in some way. Other times, we may be afraid of something because we don’t know what will happen next and that makes us nervous or apprehensive. Fear can be good or bad depending on how you respond to it. Fear can keep you safe, motivated, or stuck.
What is fear?
Fear is an emotionally induced response to a perceived threat. It is a universal, basic survival mechanism occurring in response to a specific stimulus, such as pain, the threat of injury, or danger. Fear is related to the more general concept of distress. Fear may occur when a person perceives that the environment is imposing danger, stress or threat. Fear can be in response to a real or imagined threat.
Common fears:
Being afraid of something is different than having a phobia. Here are some common fears that we share as humans:
- Heights
- Public speaking
- Snakes
- Failure
- Needles
- The dark
- Death
- Rodents
- Spiders
- Crowds
- Being embarrassed
The physical reaction to fear
We all have a strong mind-body connection so while we feel fear as an emotion, the fear response can be strong physically due to the biological response. The feeling of fear triggers a physical reaction. Cortisol and adrenaline are released.
Some people experience more intense physical symptoms than others when they feel afraid. This could be due to their personality type or their past experiences with fear, such as having faced many dangerous situations in their lives.
The physical reactions to fear may be that your blood pressure rises, your heart beat increases, you have a rapid heart beat, your palms get sweaty, you get red, you may even shake. The physical symptoms of fear are often referred to as the ‘fight-or-flight response’ because they help us either fight an aggressor or run away from them.
Why is fear important?
Fear is important because it keeps us safe. It gives us self preservation, the ability to protect ourselves from danger, threats, and impending threats. Fear is a feeling that is there to help us, even if it may seem like a negative emotion.
Fear can be useful in helping us avoid danger or harm when we are in a situation where our life or safety is threatened. When we are in danger, fear can give us the adrenaline rush we need to fight or flee from a dangerous situation. Fear also helps us learn from past experiences so we can avoid similar situations in the future.
The benefits of facing your fears:
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
There are many benefits to facing your fears.
- Facing your fear can actually help to lessen or decrease your fear in the future. You will realize that maybe this particular instance or situation wasn’t as scary as you had originally perceived it to be.
- Every time you face your fears you will feel empowered.
- Fear can make you aware of what is limiting you and the areas in your life that are aren’t getting to experience because of that fear.
- Fear can help clarify what is most important to you.
- You will learn what you are capable of and maybe capable of more than you thought!
- You may achieve what you didn’t think was possible.
- Facing your fears helps to build confidence.
- You will feel proud of yourself.
- Increased discomfort tolerance.
- New experiences.
- Doing what you fear shows enormous courage.
- Inspire others who are experiencing similar situations or circumstances.
Tips to help you face your fears:
"Do one thing every day that scares you"
It is possible to overcome your fears. There are some things you can do and steps you can take to face your fears and eventually conquer them. Facing your fears is one of the best ways to overcome them. When you face a fear, you are no longer avoiding it, but facing it head on.
Here are some tips on how to face your fears:
- Start small – Pick something that seems easy for you to work up to bigger challenges later on, such as trying something new or practicing a speech in front of friends.
- Set yourself up for success – Think about what might happen if things went wrong and plan accordingly so that if they do go wrong, they don’t cause too much damage emotionally or physically (e.g., if I fall off my bike going down the hill, I’ll just get up and dust myself off). Then when things go right, celebrate! (e.g., Wow, I went down that hill without falling off!)
- Challenge your thoughts.
- Is this fear rational or irrational? Fear is often irrational, but it doesn’t have to be. In fact, there are times when it’s very rational to be afraid: when we’re driving on icy roads or crossing the street at night, for example. The key is learning how to tell the difference between rational fears and irrational ones so we can put our energies into overcoming those that are worth fighting and letting go of those that aren’t worth the worry or energy required for overcoming them.
- Become aware of your body’s physical reaction to fear.
- Practice self-regulation
Questions to ask:
So how do we know whether our fears are reasonable or based on something real? One thing we can do is ask key questions to determine if the fear is reasonable or unreasonable, rational or irrational. These questions can help you to overcome your fears.
- Is this fear based on actual evidence or just an imagined threat
- Are there any other reasons why I might feel this way besides fear?
- What’s the worst thing that could happen if I did do this thing that scares me so much?
- Is the threat imminent or a future threat?
- Is the threat real or imagined?
- What can be done to reduce the perceived threat?
- What physical reaction are you having due to the fear?
- How can you regulate your emotions?
- How can you cope with the fear?
- What baby steps can you take to move through this fear?
- How can you conquer the fear?
Fear is natural, but it isn’t something that needs to hold you back. Fear is a tool; it should be used to your advantage. The real issue is how you respond to your fears that matters, and that’s what the next step towards conquering your fears would be- not running away from them, but in fact changing the way that you respond to them.
Fear can be confusing, paralyzing and debilitating; but fear can also open doors and create new possibilities. Facing your fears has it is benefits. The most important of which being that of self-discovery. You will likely surprise yourself with what you are capable of doing- like taking a risk, stepping out of your comfort zone, and risking failure (which is always scary). But, with each small success, you will feel that it was all worth it because you made yourself better. And as you overcome each fear, you strengthen yourself.
So take a small step forward now, towards your fear. Don’t worry about the outcome, don’t worry about what you will find on the other side, just go for it and see what has been missing from your life since you have been so scared of it.